Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
