Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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