There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
