I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
