I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
