You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
