you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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