I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
