stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
