loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
