corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
