Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
