So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
