come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
