So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
