i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do vagina's smell?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
