I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
