If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
