Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
