we're blogging at a bar
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
