he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
