can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
