I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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