actually, I'm a sock model
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
