I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
