Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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