we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
