I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
