Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
