North Korea, Best Korea!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
