I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
