i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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