Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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