It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
