i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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