I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize