I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You were trust falling into bushes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
