Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
