at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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