i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
