So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
