Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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