My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
