we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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