Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We have so much sex to catch up on
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
