Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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