let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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