he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
