This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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