one might say we're banned from that church
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
